A chill on the breeze raises hair,
As a shadow moves across the moon,
And there’s a shiver in the night air.
There’s not even a sliver of light,
The dawn cannot come too soon,
A chill on the breeze raises hair.
The listening dead will ear my plight,
As I beg to return to a sunny noon,
And there’s a shiver in the night air.
There’s a creeping sensation, a bite
A loss of blood, beginning to swoon,
A chill on the breeze raises hair.
I cry out, why such a sleight!
As blood pools, body strewn,
And there’s a shiver in the night air.
Will leaves my body; I’ve no fight,
And the beast moans a melancholy tune.
A chill on the breeze raise hair,
And there’s a shiver in the night air.
I really liked this poem, because it was very descriptive and evoked good imagery. I liked the use of repetition with the line, "And there's a shiver in the night air." My favorite line was probably, "And the beast moans a melancholy tune." Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis poem is pretty eerie and definitely has the potential to raise some hair. Is this whole thing a metaphor for something? I tried pretty hard to figure it out but I really could not come up with anything deeper than someone getting attacked in the woods at night. Maybe a depressed person who just experienced the saddest straw that broke the saddest camels back type thing? Hope you can talk more about it in class.
ReplyDelete"I tried pretty hard to figure it out but I really could not come up with anything deeper than someone getting attacked in the woods at night."
ReplyDeleteI agree with Alex. Creepy. Full of possibility. Exhibiting technical skill. But let's talk about how to bring this to the next level.
Funnily, I really was just writing about being scared and getting attacked in the woods. It was creepy for creepiness' sake. But sure, next level? I'm open to all possibilities.
ReplyDelete